Hello everybody, it’s
been a long time. I’ve been meaning to write to thank all of you for the
wonderful emails. It’s nice to know that you miss me and my posts. James and I
are doing great. We are still happily married and I still dominate him. Our lifestyle
has leveled off and I feel we have achieved a proper balance. I no longer
cuckold him, although he brings it up once and awhile. I think he craves to
experience that intense humiliation again but to be honest it was difficult. I
had a blast doing it and I have no regrets but the older I get the harder it is
to maintain several intimate relationships at the same time. I know that doesn’t
jive with many men’s fantasies but that is the reality when it comes to my life,
at least for now.
Oh, but don’t think we
still don’t have great sessions, because we do. I love to deny him for long
periods of time and most of his orgasms are ruined orgasms. I still discipline
him, punish him and keep him on his toes. And I still wear fetish outfits for
him. His leather and boot fetishes are as strong as ever. I call them his
fetishes but truthfully I too have a leather and boot fetish. I love wearing leather
boots and outfits during sessions, especially in the winter months.
For Christmas, James
bought me new boots from Fernando Berlin. They are called “High Elegance” and
they are black leather thigh high with six inch heels.
I don’t like heels that
big but James screwed up when he ordered them but since I only wear them in the
bedroom, I manage. We have had some fantastic boot domination sessions with the
new boots. I’ve included a few pictures for your enjoyment.
The other night we played
and I went all out for him. I wore the boots with my custom made leather pants
and a leather halter top. I was literally neck to toe in leather. I relaxed on
the bed and invited James to worship my boots.
He was totally naked of
course. I had my long riding crop in hand which gave me access to his body when
I needed to encourage him. After he worshiped my boots, I had him lie on the
floor and I probed his body with the six inch heels. Heels this big are
difficult to walk in but they are great to use as weapons for nipple play and
CBT. I even did a little bit of trampling but I held onto the bed posts to
maintain my balance. James suffered but maybe next time he will remember to order
heels in the three to four inch range.
After the trampling, he
performed leather pants worship, licking my crotch while I closed my legs
around his head, trapping him there. This got us both very excited. I had him
remove my boots and put them back in the box to keep them nice. Then I had him
lay on the bed face down while I got my floggers and I dished out some
discipline. The floggers are soft and not too severe so he was able to drift
I had him roll over and
I removed my pants and I sat on his face. I rode his face and he orally
pleasured me until I had multiple orgasms. Finally, I decided to allow him to
climax. Another Christmas gift he got me a Shibari Halo cordless Vibrator Massager. I
ran it across his privates and played with him until he was on edge. He knows
to tell me right when he is about to climax. I timed it perfectly and removed
the vibrator just as he was climaxing, making him suffer another ruined orgasm.
It was priceless.
there you have it, an update on our lives. I hope you all are well and happy. I
pray 2017 will be a wonderful and prosperous year for all of us.
A number of you have asked for an update on my life. I took a
break from femdom over the winter months. I don’t think I had a session with
James in January, February or March. I get that way. I go full throttle with
things and then I have burnout. However, we began playing again in April
because I missed the intimacy with him and we just don’t click doing vanilla.
Our sessions have been excellent since April. We use the massage table which we
turn into a bondage table and we have had some intense discipline sessions,
bondage, tease and denial, boot worship and strap-on play.
Probably my favorite session was last month when I took a roll of
blue medical adhesive bandage tape and wrapped his penis and the base of his balls
tightly with it, leaving only the mushroom head of his penis uncovered. I made
him take a Viagra an hour prior to this session so he had a stiff erection. Then
I worked a large condom over his penis and the bandage. I tied him to my bed
and I used him as my sex toy for an hour to 90 minutes straight. Due to the
bandage tape and condom, James could fell no pleasure. In fact, it actually was
a bit painful for him as I rode his penis. I kept rotating back and forth,
riding his cock for a while and then sitting on his face and having him lick
me. Back and forth I went from his cock to his face. I had multiple orgasms
while he was feeling no pleasure at all.
He had been denied for about a month and since he took a Viagra,
which he rarely does, I decided to take pity on him but it would have to be a
ruined orgasm. So I tied him face up on the massage table, I carefully removed
the condom and took our Hitachi double head vibrator and ran it against his very
full and swollen balls and the exposed head of his cock which was a nice shade of purple. I rotated back and
forth between the tip of the head and his balls until his cock pulsated wildly.
I immediately removed the vibrator and he came, shooting his load way up in the
air and all over his chest and stomach. His facial expression and the sounds he
was making told me it was a most painful and frustrating orgasm. He begged me
to touch him, to bring him to a more complete orgasm, but of course I denied
his request. I then cut the bandage off his erection. It was quite intense for
him as I un-wrapped his penis, his skin sticking to the adhesive tape. Then it
was off to a cold shower so he would lose his erection in order to reinstall
his chastity device. When using Viagra, it made for a most agonizing next
morning as he awoke with an erection that was rebuffed by the chastity cage. The
drug stayed in his system for around 12 hours or so, which made it fun for me
as I teased him frequently throughout the day.
It’s been a fun summer. We saw the Rolling Stones in Pittsburgh in
June and Billy Joel in Baltimore in July. We’ve been having a session about
once a week. It’s just me and James right now, no cuckolding and I like it that
way for now. You never know what the future holds but for the time being I am
enjoying keeping our lifestyle just between me and hubby.
… last Wednesday night,
I dominated the living hell out of my poor hubby and I don’t think he’s quite recovered
yet. And to think this all happened on Christmas Eve, after a lovely
candlelight church service. But more on that in a minute.
I appreciate all the
e-mails from my blog readers, wishing me a Merry Christmas and a Happy Holiday
and some begging me to come back to blogging on a regular basis. I realize some
of you live your femdom fantasies through me and my hubby’s lifestyle, and I’m
flattered, but really we’ve had a very vanilla holiday season. To be perfectly
frank, sex and D/s have been almost non-existent.
I really got into the
holidays this year, decorating the house, making cookies, eating way too much
food and I even volunteered at a local church that made up shoe boxes of toys and
goodies to send to children around the world. And we’ve been spending time with
family. So there really hasn’t been much in the way of femdom to blog about.
However, there was
Christmas Eve. I don’t know what got into me other than it had to be my repressed
sexual drive and my bottled-up dominant energy needing release. We attended a
most pleasant church service with my hubby’s family and then James and I came
home, just the two of us, and exchanged gifts. One of his gifts to me was a
pair of knee high stiletto heel leather boots that lace up in the back with a
zipper on the side. Very sexy!
I wasn’t really in the
mood for a femdom session on Christmas Eve, but James practically begged me to
try them on, and he of course assisted me, lacing them up. Seeing my hubby on
his knees, lacing up my new boots sparked something within me. It had been too
I told hubby to wait a
minute, and I went into the bedroom and opened my toy box and decided to dress
up. I put on my custom fit leather pants and my new leather corset. I added my
opera gloves and my new boots. I grabbed a riding crop and it was time to give
hubby a special Christmas gift.
I appeared in the
doorway decked in all leather and invited him into my bedroom. He was back on
his knees in no time, licking my leather pants, licking my new boots, planting
kisses and licking as if the leather were food and he was starving. In a way,
he was starving. He was starving for domination, and I was starving, to
dominate him. And boy did I ever dominate him.
I should have written
about this the next day, while it was all so fresh in my mind, but it was
Christmas and the next several days were busy. Today is the first chance I had
to write about this. So without giving you a complete blow by blow (pun
intended) let me give you a summary.
After he worshipped my
leather clad body, I tied hubby face down to my bed and used the riding crop on
his eager ass. And just not the riding crop. My toy chest was open so all of my
implements were accessible. I went from crop to flogger to cat to paddle to
tawse to strap to cane. Hubby’s ass was as red as a candy cane when I was done
and he went from being excited to whimpering to begging for mercy. I of course
stopped, but not until he uttered his safe word. It has been such a long time
since he had used his safe word during a session, so long that I forgot what it
was. But when he screamed out “Monday!!!” I knew he couldn’t take any more.
But I wasn’t done, no
indeed, I was very wet. I got my strap-on harness, and lubricated a moderate
sized dildo and climbed on top of hubby’s striped and bruised ass and gave him
a fucking he will not soon forget. I grabbed him around the waist and pulled
him toward me, plunging the dildo deep inside and I had all of this energy, and
I spent most of that energy slamming the dildo in and out with a violent
aggression I have not experienced in some time. Like I said, I had all of this
dominant energy bottled up and it came rushing out of me. I even pulled his
hair while I was taking him with my strap-on and I was scratching his back with
my nails, I scratched his back so hard that it was actually bleeding in spots.
I can’t remember the last time I’ve done that.
I eventually got tired
so I untied James and had him roll over. You should have seen his face. He
looked like a man who just had his virginity taken from him without consent. He
had a dazed expression, one of pleasure and fear. He couldn’t believe I was
that rough on him.
I removed my boots and
my pants and I climbed on his face and grinded against his nose and his mouth,
sitting on his face, until he licked me to orgasm. It didn’t take long, I was
that excited, but I wanted more, so I had him get up and I took his place on
the bed, and he went between my legs and licked me and sucked my clit for a
good ten minutes until I had a second orgasm.
I decided to give him
one final Christmas gift. It had been almost two months since his last sanctioned
orgasm (that I know about) so I gave him permission to fetch the key and unlock
his chastity device. I knew he was in the mood to worship boots, but I didn’t
want him to soil my new pair, so I had him fetch the older thigh high pair from
my trunk and he put them on me. I sat on the edge of the bed and I ordered him
to hump the boots like a dog. He rubbed his erect penis against the soft
leather and it took him longer than I would have expected but he finally
climaxed all over the boot that adorned my right leg. I ordered him to lick up
his mess, which he did, a bit reluctantly at first, but he was a good boy and
gave the boot a thorough cleaning with his tongue.
The night had a real
effect on James. He licked so much leather (and pussy) that he had a blister on
his tongue the next morning. He was in subspace for days and the whip marks
have yet to totally fade, although they’re almost gone. I had to laugh when we
went out for Christmas dinner. James kept squirming in the chair, shifting
around due to the marks on his still sore behind. He told family his back was
Other than that one crazy
night, we have been living a rather traditional, vanilla life as of late. Maybe
in the new year we will get back into more femdom play. You just never know.
And he never knows when the mood to dominant him might strike me again.
Hi everyone. First, let
me thank you for all the kind e-mails I have received. I’m sorry I
haven’t written any of you back but I thank you for understanding why I’ve taken
a sabbatical from blogging. I have no idea if and when I'll be a regular blogger again but I promised to post from time
to time if anything noteworthy happened in our lifestyle.
Overall, things have
been rather mundane. This hasn’t been the best autumn for us when it comes to
femdom as life keeps getting in the way. Family issues, health issues, work
issues, you know how it is. But we try to still play on occasion and hubby has
been obedient in doing his chores and tending to my needs, for the most part.
I promised to write
about Halloween but I didn’t go out this year. It was a rainy night and I just
wasn’t feeling it.
My new corset arrived
and as promised here are a few pictures.
James got very excited
when he saw me in it. I added my thigh high boots and leather opera gloves to
the outfit and needless to say, it led to a most erotic night with plenty of
leather licking and body worship performed by James. This put me in the mood to
administer an attitude adjustment to my hubby. Not that he wasn’t a good boy
but I don’t want him to ever become complacent. He can always do better.
I wasn’t sure which
implements to use but I saw my collection of Delrin canes which are most severe.
Yes, I was in the mood for a harsh session.
I restrained James on my
bed using nylon ropes. I proceeded to administer 10 strikes each with 6
different Delrin canes. James’ bottom was a little tender from only getting
spankings with my hands or my hairbrush over the past month. It has been a
while since he had endured these dreaded canes. He was excited at first but
before long I had him flinching, whining and begging. I administered a total of
60 as I lectured him on how his submission had been less than stellar lately
and I reminded him that just because I have taken a break from dating, I was
still a liberated woman who was free to have an active love life outside our marriage
if and when I meet the right man. When I was done with his caning he had some nasty
looking welts and stripes across his ass.
I untied him, turned him
over and took the short cane and I cupped his balls in my hand and I gave them
5 moderate smacks, hard enough to cause a bruise across his right testicle.
James let out a loud scream. I didn’t mean to hit his balls that hard, but oh
well, it happens.
I then removed my panties
and sat on his face and had him give me a rim job to my ass for a few minutes before
I slid my pussy over his mouth and had him tongue me to orgasm. It was the best
session we’ve had this autumn. The next day, James bought me flowers and promised
to improve in his servitude. He needed an attitude adjustment and I was more
than happy to give him one.
Not sure when I will
post again but if something special happens, be it a great session or a
lifestyle change, I’m sure I will share.
In June 2011, I was
looking for something to motivate me with the femdom lifestyle. I was active in
the lifestyle from 1998 to 2008 but had taken a hiatus from the lifestyle for a
few years. When I decided to give it another go, I needed something to make it
fresh and exciting again. That’s when I decided to write this blog. My purpose
One, I wanted to share
some of the experiences I had with femdom between 1998 and 2008. It was a wild
ride where I went from nervous beginner to the Head Mistress of a femdom group.
Along the way I was a phone Mistress, a pro Domme, and a movie reviewer for a popular
femdom e-zine. I met some fascinating people on this journey and had some interesting
experiences. I figured people would enjoy reading about them.
The second purpose of
this blog was to challenge me. I figured if I wrote about my femdom marriage,
having a blog would push me to make certain I had something to write about. And
it did. This blog was exactly what I needed to expand my horizons and try new
things. It was also wonderful to be able to share my thoughts, struggles and
challenges with others.
But now I feel I need a
break, not from the lifestyle, but from blogging about the lifestyle. Right now
it is just hubby and I, no groups, no other people, just him and I practicing
our lifestyle within our marriage. And that’s how I want it for now. No
pressure to write about what we do or don’t do. I just want to reset things
with him and, like I said in my previous post, focus on the fundamentals.
In my opinion, where I
see our focus over the next months would not make for a great blog and I’m afraid
most of the entries would be redundant. How many times can I write about
spanking hubby with my hairbrush? Or hubby giving me a massage? Or hubby doing
his chores while wearing my panties? It’s fun for us but pretty tame. The thing
is: I am ready for tame in my life. I want to work on my relationship with James
without “would this make for a good blog entry” hanging over my head. I no
longer want to be challenged or motivated. I want to just be, in a relaxed way,
Of course things can
change and I might get on here from time to time to share with you if something
extraordinary happens. Halloween is coming up so perhaps I will do a blog entry
about what we do on that night, especially if I dress up in my new leather corset.
So I am not saying I will never post again. Just don’t expect a weekly update.
If things change, I will let you know.
Thanks again for all the
great comments and feedback I’ve received over these past three years. And it
was great to touch base with some old friends who found me through this blog, especially
the people from my ClubFEM days. God Bless you all!
As a follow-up to my
previous post, Ginger e-mailed me yesterday and wanted to know if I wanted to
get together with her and Dante again. I respectfully declined, although I
admit there was a part of me that was tempted. What was it that tempted me?
Being with Ginger? Being with Dante? Or being with the two of them at the same
time? I know I sound like a prude but I really am conflicted about the whole
thing. I think I am most tempted about Dante. He wins CFNM contests and he used
to be a male dancer. I guess I should be flattered that she is willing to share
him with me but of course that may be her only way of also being with me
sexually. What would really be flattering is if I knew how Dante feels about
it. If he was the one who asked Ginger to contact me about us getting together
again, I am not so sure I could say no. Ginger is a lucky girl.
Dante still does the CFNM
thing. Surely they can find someone else for a threesome, someone who is more
into it than me. It was a hot experience but it was also a bit awkward, at
least it was for me. The temptation is there to do it again. I hope I can shake
With Derik out of the
picture, the focus for the Fall will be squarely on James. I want to
re-establish the fundamentals with him again. I want to play more with him and
maybe even go back to the drawing board and capture some of that magic we had
when we first started out. I was even thinking about going back and doing the
Elise Sutton ‘psychoanalysis of the submissive male’ procedures and exercises
again. Those were a real eye opener and I learned a lot about my husband. They
may seem lame compared to what we have evolved into as far as our lifestyle but
it never hurts to re-stablish the fundamentals. I also remember the excellent
article by a woman named Monica, “The Four Cornerstones of a successful FemDom marriage”. There is some excellent advice in there.
I am not giving up on
cuckolding. I recently wrote about the benefits of cuckolding, but I am going
to take my time before I jump into another relationship with a man. If I meet
someone, great, but I am not going to rush things. Ginger suggested I place a
profile on the Ashley Madison website, a site dedicated to married people seeking
affairs. Ginger said she knows women who use the site for cuckolding. The men that
contact them think they are interested in having an affair, and they are, but
what they don’t know is that the woman’s husband is fully aware of it.
No, I don’t feel
compelled to rush out to find a lover. I think it will be fun to explore other
areas of D/s and femdom with James. In fact, the other day I called the fetish
store in Vegas, the place that made me my custom leather pants, and asked them
about a leather corset I saw on their site. It is really sexy. They still have
my measurements so they’re going to make me one. That might be just what we
need to add some extra fuel to our D/s sessions. I remember how excited James
became when I got my custom made leather pants. We had some wonderful sessions,
some of which I recorded in my blog. I’ll be sure to take a picture of the
corset and post it when it arrives.
I got home last night to
an immaculate house and, more importantly, to an adoring husband. It almost
defies logic, at least the way society has always viewed marriage and
relationships. I mean here I am, a married woman, who goes away on a trip with
another man, has sexual relations with that man, and instead of returning to a
jealous husband, I return to a man who is full of affection.
James was all over me
last night and he was in a most obedient frame of mind. He eagerly unpacked my
car and he was full of pride that he had accomplished all the chores I had left
him on his hubby-do list. I was tired but I allowed James to join me in bed
because he was so full of affection. I allowed him to lay next to me and caress
my body as I told him the non-sexual details of my trip. I told him of the
beautiful weather, the winery we visited, the museums, the walking trails, etc.
Of course it didn’t take
long before James asked me if Derik liked the outfit I had bought, you know the
lingerie. He tried to be subtle but I knew he wanted to be teased and
humiliated about being a cuckold. He wanted to hear the details. I had planned
on waiting for this weekend to tell him, perhaps during a D&S session, but
the moment was here and there was chemistry. I could sense it as I was feeding
off of James’ excitement. If nothing else, I have learned to seize these
moments when they present themselves instead of waiting for a better moment because
the better moment may never happen.
I gave James permission
to suckle at my nipples and continue to caress my body with his hands as I told
him about the great sex I had on the trip, especially Saturday night when I
wore my outfit for Derik. It didn’t take long before I was as excited as hubby,
so I ordered him between my legs as I continued to tease him, adding a little
humiliation to my words. James wanted to dive right in and lick me all over
down there, but I was still sensitive from all the sex I had with Derik, so I
told hubby to suck my clit instead of licking it. I was in the mood for a
marathon session of having my clit sucked.
As James complied with my
directive, I gave him more details, of course emphasizing how Derik fills me
with his large cock in ways James never could. This made James all he more
excited, as he was rubbing his caged cock against the mattress. I had to
admonish him to be careful because an “accident” would not be tolerated, no
matter how good of a husband he has been. James sucked me down there probably
for a good 20, 25 maybe 30 minutes before I was ready to be licked to orgasm.
Once I gave him the command, he was very eager, full of passion, and I came
almost right away.
Now I was totally
relaxed. James cuddled next to me and caressed my body some more with his hands
until I fell asleep. I could feel the love radiating from him.
Yes, there are benefits
to cuckolding, more benefits than I ever imagined. In fact, I was against
cuckolding when James first mentioned it to me those many years ago. It took me
awhile to come around to the idea, and it has not always been smooth. We’ve had
obstacles to overcome and James has not always been at peace with the idea of
me being with other men, even though he was the one who encouraged me to do so.
I guess that is the bottom line. It really is the husband, the submissive husband,
who holds the key as to whether cuckolding can work in a marriage. What woman
wouldn’t want this sexual freedom within a loving marriage? But either the
husband can be super supportive or he can struggle with it, and if he struggles
with it, that adds stress to the woman’s life. It is only when the husband
accepts his place and his role as a cuckold that the harmony takes place.
I still plan on having a
more intense session with hubby this weekend, perhaps a whipping and strap-on
play with verbal humiliation as I go even deeper into the details of my time
with Derik, but I will do this for James. I know he loves to be dominated and
humiliated so the session this weekend will be more for his benefit. He gave me
a special gift last night so I in return want to give him a special gift this